The wait....

© Megha Kuruvilla @ Life's Vibes , [2009 onwards]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [Megha Kuruvilla] and [Life's Vibes] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

"forming–storming–norming–performing"

"The forming–storming–norming–performing model of group development was first proposed by Bruce Tuckman in 1965, who said that these phases are all necessary and inevitable in order for a team to grow, face up to challenges, tackle problems, find solutions, plan work, and deliver results." Says Wikipedia

Many of us would've heard about this phenomenon in our workplaces. It tries to establish the fact that keeping a group of people together in the same team for a considerable amount of time eventually helps them perform better. 

Through the many short, long, near and far relationships in my life I've come to realise that this concept is true not only at workplace but in relationships too. Read on and see if you find the correlation too.

Forming as described by Mr Tuckman is the initial phase when people are positive and polite, they're excited about the possibilities ahead and looking forward to getting to know their teams members better. 

Don't you see the hints of the so called 'honeymoon period' there. Everything our partner does is adorable, even those things which goes completely against our personal beliefs and morals, might pass the test without a hiccup, during this 'blindly in love' period. 

After a bit of time together team moves into the Storming stage. This is when the team starts pushing the boundaries and conflicts arise due the difference in working styles. People might feel overwhelmed by their workload and new responsibilities are still confusing. 

For those of you who are married, I'm sure you'll see the correlation here straight away. The time when the newly married couple sets off to setup their new home. Slowly but steadily, we start seeing those habits that irritate us. The unorganised wardrobe, the messy kitchen, that one small ball of paper that didn't make it to the dustbin, but ended up right beside it with no way to get in and noone to pick it up!! 

These are the first few years, that sees a lot of changes all too sudden for the human mind to grasp. From being single and partying, to being married and even before coming to senses with the new schedules, some go on to pick up more responsibilities by stepping into parenthood.

Norming is the next stage. As the name suggests thankfully there's a normalcy that's setting in. This is described as the stage of resolving conflicts. Team members have got to know and accept each other and start leveraging on each other's strengths. 

Good news!! And for those of you who survived the storm in the previous stage, congratulations!! Now we know each other very well, all those nagging bits and pieces somehow fit in and makes sense. We understand what's going on behind the scenes and no longer need to take things personally when our partners set out into bouts of tantrums! We can breathe, and know that it's definitely not 'cos of us! 

Haven't you heard opposite poles attract, well it's true and we can finally see it in action right there in our own sweet homes. Once we realise our strengths, it becomes very easy to accept the weaknesses too. 

The final stage is Performance. The team can now work without friction and achieve its goals. It feels easy to be part of the team and even if people join or leave, it doesn't disrupt the performance. 

Voila !!! This is the ' happily ever after' that all of us dream of. The kind we see in age old couples who've grown old together. Have you noticed there's a type of peaceful rhythm in such couples, observe next time you see your senior uncles and aunties. 

They know each other too well, so much that they can not only complete each other's sentences but can just go through life like a well oiled machine, each one doing their own part and at the same time helping the other to chug along too. 

Kids would've grown up, either left home or brought in their partners to join as new family members. Work life would've changed due to retirement or change of career. Some even relocate from cities they've been living for decades to escape the busy-ness and slow the pace down. Many changes in health, wealth and what not, yet one thing won't be disrupted and they can fall back on would be the team they formed with that one person.

So, do you see the correlation?  

"forming–storming–norming–performing" , where are you at ? :) 

Marbled Banana Bread

Welcome..... 

As you all might agree, having a newborn to care for is a full time job in itself. But being the restless soul I am, I needed to feed my soul with other things to do inorder to feel productive. 

Considering the only time I get during the day to pursue such projects is the small nap times of my bubs, I am in search of things I can do in one hour stat. 

So here goes ... 

Banana Marble Cake

Recipe courtesy: https://www.recipegirl.com/marbled-chocolate-banana-bread/

This blog has detailed steps and a beautiful steps by step recipe which worked out very well for my one hour project. 

It turned out very yummy , my only note was to add more baking soda, as mine didnt work as well as I would've liked.

So for the first one hour project, Happy Tummies with Yummy Banana Bread ;) 

Think...but the opposite

Thoughts are always with us. No matter what we are doing, where we are or with whom, our mind is always on the go. Sometimes right there in the moment, but most of the times far away in a different world.

Although our everlasting companions, we rarely give credit to the power of thoughts. A small sad thought on a bright and sunny day can turn it into the most gloomiest for you! There might be a thousand good things happening around you, but in vain to cheer you up. 

I'm Robin Sharma's bestseller book " The monk who sold his Ferrari" this concept is well written. A simple act can change our lives, but being conscious of our thoughts we can turn our life around. 

Here goes  the concept of Opposition Thinking : 

Before i forget what it felt like....

23 July 2019

I just turned 35 !! "the mighty mid life" as i see it.

For someone who doesn't keep count of the year and babbles when someone asks her age, it was quiet coincidental that i counted it this year and found that i was at a milestone year.

As any other human natured person, i am also wondering how to make this epic milestone and true one. and needless to say , as every other human, i haven't the smallest clue !

As i tread down that path, today i am writing to put in paper the many rekindled thoughts, feelings and passions that came with my birthday.

This birthday, many of my usual circle of friends forgot about it. Whereas many who i haven't kept in touch reconnected with me.
My best friends from yesterdays past, took me down, rather kicked my a** down the memory lane to remind me of who we were, who i was to them and who i am!

To be frank, i never realised that i meant so much to them or that they ever missed me ! To find these girls actually looking out for me and trying to revive me into my old self was pleasantly shocking. They had no clue why i was aloof, i hadn't kept in touch with any of them , I've even missed important milestones in their life, yet they somehow knew from across the ocean that i was lost.

Friendships are truly like ships, when we are on the shore, they look motionless and directionless in the vast blue oceans, but the captain of the ship knows his/her destination. 
And to have such blessed souls as Captains of ur ships, is a lifelong promise that No matter what, and no matter which island u are stranded in, they will find you! 

Dedicated to my 3 beautiful friends : R,L,A





© Megha Kuruvilla @ Life's Vibes , [2009 onwards]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [Megha Kuruvilla] and [Life's Vibes] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Into the depths!

18 Dec 2018 

The Puzzle

It's like pieces in a puzzle, some are bright and beautiful while others are just there cos they need to play their role. Many times you being one of the pieces beds to be stuck with another to help form the whole picture. And if it's just one of those dull background pieces you stuck with, you'll be in awe of the rest and find yourself wishing you been on the other side of the picture.
But the truth to withhold is that, even though the other side is brighter bolder and more beautiful, you still wouldn't have fit in there.

It's the same in life. We sometimes want to get away from the norms we surrounded with. There are other more exciting and bolder horizons we see, places we wish we'd been, people we fall in love with, lives we'd wanna replace ours with. But think about it, there always are these small but perfect curves and edges on you that fit perfectly with those in your life. On its own they may look like a fault, but when put together with another piece, it frames the perfect picture.
Not as one but as two you fit in and find your purpose.