"forming–storming–norming–performing"

"The forming–storming–norming–performing model of group development was first proposed by Bruce Tuckman in 1965, who said that these phases are all necessary and inevitable in order for a team to grow, face up to challenges, tackle problems, find solutions, plan work, and deliver results." Says Wikipedia

Many of us would've heard about this phenomenon in our workplaces. It tries to establish the fact that keeping a group of people together in the same team for a considerable amount of time eventually helps them perform better. 

Through the many short, long, near and far relationships in my life I've come to realise that this concept is true not only at workplace but in relationships too. Read on and see if you find the correlation too.

Forming as described by Mr Tuckman is the initial phase when people are positive and polite, they're excited about the possibilities ahead and looking forward to getting to know their teams members better. 

Don't you see the hints of the so called 'honeymoon period' there. Everything our partner does is adorable, even those things which goes completely against our personal beliefs and morals, might pass the test without a hiccup, during this 'blindly in love' period. 

After a bit of time together team moves into the Storming stage. This is when the team starts pushing the boundaries and conflicts arise due the difference in working styles. People might feel overwhelmed by their workload and new responsibilities are still confusing. 

For those of you who are married, I'm sure you'll see the correlation here straight away. The time when the newly married couple sets off to setup their new home. Slowly but steadily, we start seeing those habits that irritate us. The unorganised wardrobe, the messy kitchen, that one small ball of paper that didn't make it to the dustbin, but ended up right beside it with no way to get in and noone to pick it up!! 

These are the first few years, that sees a lot of changes all too sudden for the human mind to grasp. From being single and partying, to being married and even before coming to senses with the new schedules, some go on to pick up more responsibilities by stepping into parenthood.

Norming is the next stage. As the name suggests thankfully there's a normalcy that's setting in. This is described as the stage of resolving conflicts. Team members have got to know and accept each other and start leveraging on each other's strengths. 

Good news!! And for those of you who survived the storm in the previous stage, congratulations!! Now we know each other very well, all those nagging bits and pieces somehow fit in and makes sense. We understand what's going on behind the scenes and no longer need to take things personally when our partners set out into bouts of tantrums! We can breathe, and know that it's definitely not 'cos of us! 

Haven't you heard opposite poles attract, well it's true and we can finally see it in action right there in our own sweet homes. Once we realise our strengths, it becomes very easy to accept the weaknesses too. 

The final stage is Performance. The team can now work without friction and achieve its goals. It feels easy to be part of the team and even if people join or leave, it doesn't disrupt the performance. 

Voila !!! This is the ' happily ever after' that all of us dream of. The kind we see in age old couples who've grown old together. Have you noticed there's a type of peaceful rhythm in such couples, observe next time you see your senior uncles and aunties. 

They know each other too well, so much that they can not only complete each other's sentences but can just go through life like a well oiled machine, each one doing their own part and at the same time helping the other to chug along too. 

Kids would've grown up, either left home or brought in their partners to join as new family members. Work life would've changed due to retirement or change of career. Some even relocate from cities they've been living for decades to escape the busy-ness and slow the pace down. Many changes in health, wealth and what not, yet one thing won't be disrupted and they can fall back on would be the team they formed with that one person.

So, do you see the correlation?  

"forming–storming–norming–performing" , where are you at ? :)