The wait....

© Megha Kuruvilla @ Life's Vibes , [2009 onwards]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [Megha Kuruvilla] and [Life's Vibes] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Think...but the opposite

Thoughts are always with us. No matter what we are doing, where we are or with whom, our mind is always on the go. Sometimes right there in the moment, but most of the times far away in a different world.

Although our everlasting companions, we rarely give credit to the power of thoughts. A small sad thought on a bright and sunny day can turn it into the most gloomiest for you! There might be a thousand good things happening around you, but in vain to cheer you up. 

I'm Robin Sharma's bestseller book " The monk who sold his Ferrari" this concept is well written. A simple act can change our lives, but being conscious of our thoughts we can turn our life around. 

Here goes  the concept of Opposition Thinking : 

Into the depths!

18 Dec 2018 

Once Upon A Train Ride.....

3-Jan-2018

Standing in the train I look at the compartment next to mine.
The faces staring at me but not seeing mine.

There's a bubble around each one of them, a vacuum made of the masks they wear.
Masks which keeps the truth nowhere near.

As the train turns, they disappear into the curves of the tracks for a fraction,
and then back again with their stares to crave for our attention.

The mirages on the glass walls makes it hard to realise who's on which side.
Sometimes they are here and sometimes gone offsite.

And I can't help but wonder, how similar it is to our life's paths.
People and places, masks hiding their true self.
And the way the truth unfolds,
.. sometimes bitter.. sometimes sour!

-MK

© Megha Kuruvilla @ Life's Vibes , [2009 onwards]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [Megha Kuruvilla] and [Life's Vibes] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The flame of the forest.....

My heart is racing but I'm not able to point out the reason. It's as if I'm overwhelmed!

Past few days have been most eventful... I've been one with the nature.. And it has filled into every cell of mine.... The wind, the trees, the birds, the animals, the people and their innocent smiles... All have filled a sense of peace within me... They Blew out the dust and made my mind clear.. . and then came the inspiration storm. .

First was Dr sudarsan... The founder of the resort we stayed.. The person who built schools hospital and other facilities for the tribal people of the vicinity.... Soligas is what they are called and now they are blessed with good education because of this great man..

Then we went walking... And by some unknown destiny a true veteran walks with us.. His simple ways never gave off the shine of the hidden gem he was... Until we got talking.... Mr Suresh kamath..... A true inspirer... His thoughts and journey would not fail to motivate even the shrewdest ones.... Talks went on about how he started his own company and started software designing lessons for differently abled people... He created jobs for millions of such people and was recognized for his contribution to society by the president of India....

Truly inspiring souls who makes you rethink about life and it's purpose. Each of us reach a point of saturation when our career suddenly stops being motivating. Then starts the search for the actual purpose of our being. But then it doesn't pose an easy path... How do one know what to do... Where do one start... When and how does one get the calling!

All questions are unanswered but yet I feel content.. Hoping that the spark has been lit.... And that it'll ignite the fire deep within to light up the right path of life......

... Live for Today !!!

Everything u Do and Say is completely Your sole responsibility.

To be angry, sad, disappointed or happy .... is Your Choice.

Whatever the occasion be..... your mind is so superior that it has the ability to stay depressed even in the happiest moment, or stay happy in the most depressing conditions.

Live! Love!  & Stay Happy!! .... 'cos Today is not returning Ever!!!

Materialistic people in a Materialistic World!!!

Gone are the days when friendship was based on common interests and mutual liking.
Gone are the days when making strangers into friends was not considered a heinous act!

Now are the days when a person approaches you with a smile , we need to wonder whats hidden behind those innocent looking eyes.
Now are the days when people get acquainted to you Only if there's a 'gain\profit' in the equation.
Now are the days when if you want to gain some social attention, instead of making yourself friendly, you should make yourself vulnerable.

Friends were,the Gods. People who'll be there no matter what !! More reliable and more approachable than any family.
Friends were the answer to every problem, the escape from every misery

But now, any moment a friend can turn into a stranger.. a stranger who is capable enough to rip you apart. a stranger strong enough to use your weaknesses against you, who conveniently ignores the fact that he\she can actually be of help.

The likelihood of such materialistic opportunists have increased so much that even a n actual genuine act is looked at through suspicious magnifying glasses. A behavior that would send any genuine person off the hook.

Amid all this madness my heart still hopes with crossed fingers that relationships can also be genuine, that there will remain some people who loves you for what you are and not for what they can get out of you! ......

In the name of a withered flower that forgot to bloom!

1 Sep 2014 

Recently my friends circle was deeply saddened and probably troubled for all their days to come, by the news of the sad demise of our friend. It was a tragic story, details of which i do not wanna reveal.

The cause of this incident was what disturbed each one of us and left us feeling completely helpless. The realization that something could have done to prevent this tragedy, would eat each one of us for our entire lives.

She was well educated ,a quality, people say is enough to make a lady strong enough for the world outside. In our country when we strive to make the literacy rate higher and continue to stress the importance of girls' education, one thing we always conveniently ignore is the emotional quotient.
We are all educated people. But education doesn't make us emotionally brave. We are bound by invisible chains of culture, family and society. We know the rights from the wrong... But even when we are wronged we hesitate to react.. In the name of our parents happiness... In the name of goodwill of the family... and what not!

You say you are gonna silently suffer in the name of your kids, have you ever thought what message that gives to your baby who's learning from you? Would you want her to keep quiet and hide it all from you when she gets into a problem? 

You say you are not gonna hurt your parents who so lovingly provided everything you have now.  So you stick on that smiling face and hide everything from them,And what do u achieve at the end of the day ?
They are happy thinking that you are happy... but only until the day comes when the world shatters in front of them and reveals the dreaded truth which would have already engulfed us in it, with no point of return. What do you gift your loved ones then? unending sorrow, which could have been avoided only if you had said a word at the right time, before it was too late !

Every now and then when something sad happens in our world, we talk about it, provide solutions that could have been adopted to avoid it, and then ? ... we just move on ! Memory fades, but the hurt of losing someone dear would never fade. And that is why i didn't want to allow our friend's loss to go in vain!

She might be gone, but her smiling face would never leave our souls. When the darkness of this tragedy fills our heart, her smile would remain like a light at the end of the tunnel. A light that will remind us day in and day out of what she went through. Lets not allow her light to fade.. Lets not allow this to repeat anymore.....

We always seem to have an inbuilt course of guilt which rises its head up every now and them and restrict us from having what we rightfully deserve.

Remember friends, you are not alone . It just takes a small word,and you would know there r many around you who are facing the same distress as you. So forget the shame and speak out, pour out your sorrow. Don't keep it within you and let it swallow you into its dark depths.

In the name of our friend..... !! Let's not let her life go in vain!

Lead kindly light!.....

As more and more incidents keep happening, its no longer enough to worry about it and blame the authorities for being brutally blind to all this. Let alone the fact that everyone other than the authorities who have power seems to see what the obvious punishment shuld be declared as!
Reading newspapers have become a disturbing routine of everyday life now. But when we pray for the victims and for our dear one's safety, dont you think there is pondering required on the real factor that's causing people to turn cannibalistic?
When did we humans start being so overwhelmed by our desires! Sudden exposure to things which the mind can't differentiate as right or wrong often leads us into obsessing . Human nature gas always between to desire for what's not at hand . So For example, people who haven't had much chances to use internet, when they get an opportunity tends to overdo it.
It is the same with every thing in our life.
Learning to control our desires is a critical factor for preventing future disasters. Starting with small sins it can lead to barbaric actions just to satisfy one's thirst. As long as it hasn't quenched, it would keep us under its mesmerizing claws,  promising heaven! Its not just government or laws that has to be reviewed, its every one of us. Society as a whole should take responsibility for the future of our sons and daughters. what we show them is what they'll become!
Starting from relationships at home , movies, internet, school and friends.... Exposure is at its max.  We can't say no to it, we can't.bring them up inside the four walls .... The only way to help is by lighting the candle of awareness. Talk to them on what's right and what's not, dont be shy like our senior generations have been. Let freedom of speech lead to freedom of movement!

...to the world of Rapists!!!!!

It was a cold morning and i slipped out of bed careful not to wake up my two year old sleeping peacefully beside me...

I hurried to the kitchen to start with my chores for the morning. one of it being retrieving the milk packet from my front door, i opened the door and picked up the packet and the newspaper.
I conducted the usual ritual of reading the headlines and was about to flop the paper on the table, but before i could walk off something caught my eye. Dumbstruck, shocked, numb, shivers.... i don't know exactly how to explain that moment of pain.

"Capital shamed: Girl gang-raped on bus in South Delhi", it read. Details of it all of you would have read. It was too much to believe. 

As i managed to handover the paper to my husband and walk away, my mind was flooded with the many such articles I've read in the past. brutal cases like these have been in the papers on and off. Fathers, Uncles, Caretakers, turning into monsters at schools ,home etc, The very people and places we considered secure is now where we should be extra cautious !!! 

Accidents happen.. it's part of life... but what about things like these? What reason or justification do they have for committing such a brutal act, to make a person devoid of the capability to live a life, dignity aside, atleast with the minimum confidence that someone will not plunge over them in the next second. To say that its animal behavior would be to insult the animal kingdom itself, atleast they Kill and dont make their victims's life  a rotting hell! 

When i grew up we were told to be careful about strangers. Don't talk to strangers my mum used to utter, outgoing was not the kind of thing one was supposed to do when in a vulnerable situation and it was understood well. But now? what should i tell my son\daughter? 

Should i isolate them into a cube and let them live their lives in a dungeon where no one can reach them?

Whom should i warn them about? strangers? or their own family members? 

Schools are now creating awareness about good touch and bad touch, but what do we teach them about the jungle out there? How can one live with the fear that any moment, any one can turn into a monster and pounce upon you!!! 

Right and Wrong no longer comes in Black and White! We need to revisit our morality. We need to find our moral self to be able to stop ourselves from viewing others as probable Victims. Wake up people.... wake up the human in you.... 

Arranged Vs Love? .... its Complicated!

6 Aug 2012 

SALE SALE SALE ... everywhere a SALE... that's how it is now when u tread outside nowadays. Every other store has an ON SALE board hung bright and bold in front of their entrances,and knowingly or unknowingly we get pulled in.
So last weekend i was on this shopping spree, desperate to checkout the sale at my favorite store, i made time from my usual schedules to head out and indulge. Since the day i had planned for this, my mind had been on this all alert mode, where i pick up colors and patterns from everything i see, from tv serials to magazine pages, to distant memories of beautiful dresses worn in my favorite movies. Every now and then, in between the routines my mind would return with a new color and pattern to put in my bookmarks list, so that i can refer to them when at the store.

All set for the endeavor i headed out to the store. The innumerable colors that the store held out to me were more than manageable. Never had i felt so overwhelmed with the need to pick my favorites! So there i was surrounded by all sort of colors and patterns one could imagine, and yet even after an hour i couldn't set eyes on even one garment that would satisfy my style definitions!
True to the moment, i was greatly disappointed at this unexpected turn of things. Even with all that it could offer me.. it was just not enough!

Life sometimes is like this... the moment would ask for it, the nature would strive to offer it , but all of it wouldn't be enough to make it happen! It wouldn't matter whether u actually prepared/planned for the moment or it happened spontaneously, the only thing that matters is for you to feel right. 

Strength of a relationship is based upon the quality and not upon the length of time u knew each other. Sometimes even spending a lifetime with someone wouldn't be enough to understand them, and some other times the sincerity and loyalty of the other person would strike you in just few seconds spent together !

Like they say 'everything has got its place and time'... even love and marriage has its predestined place and time... sometimes it just feels right and u just need to trust your instincts. Love ya arranged .. its the commitment towards it that matters... nothing more..nothing less!

Forgive and ForgeT? or Revenge and Regret?

There are basically two kinds I've come across..

The ones who forgive and forget and the other who don't!

While the former glazes through life leaving breakups and regrets behind , with the hope of a better tomorrow, the latter holds on to the past and evaluates everything the future holds in terms if the past memories. Even the smallest mistake you do with a person who never forgets will be written in big bold letters in the book of your relationship and will be referred back and forth every valid and invalid times.

Hence evidently forgive and forget is the way to be if you want to enjoy life without the dark shadows of the past.

But in todays wild world, there are some others who take advantage of this Forgive and forget trait. Just because we move on with life more easily, people tend to think that they can get away with anything ,cos we'll forgive them and get along as if nothing happened. So then it becomes important that forgive and forget be always accompanied by assertiveness, so that you don't allow anyone to make you feel inferior or victimized.

So then how should it be ? ...  i guess even the universal rules need to rewritten to face today's unforgiving world.

Forgive and become a door mat? or take revenge and be called a fighter?? .... what to be and what not to stays a mystery!!!!! 

Soul space !!! ...........

Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho, Toh zinda ho tum

{If you carry your restlessness in your heart, then you are alive}

Nazar mein khwabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho, Toh zinda ho tum

{If you carry the flames of your dreams in your eyes, then you are alive}

Hawa ke jhokon ke jaise aazad rehna sikho

{Learn to live free like the gusts of wind}

Tum ek dariya ke jaise lehron mein behna sikho

{Learn to flow like the waves in a stream}

Har ek lamhe se tum milo kholke apni bhaahein

{Embrace every moment in life with open arms}

Har ek pal ek naya samha dekhen yeh nigahaein

{Each moment your eyes see is a new season}

Jo apni aankhon mein hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum

{If you carry wonder in your eyes, then you are alive}

Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum

{If you carry your restlessness in your heart, then you are alive}

These are lines from a Bollywood (Hindi) hit movie…..

Worries, anxieties and pain are something we all wanna get rid of from our lives. But have you ever felt that even the most challenging moments in ur lives have some purpose in the road to fulfillment ?! 

This song, rather poem, depicts the true meaning of life.. of being alive. It's not only about roses, kisses, smiles and happiness, but it’s also about the anxieties, challenges, dreams and struggles to attain them. Without such worries or heartaches one would never be able to appreciate the true value of the happiness we receive!

To be fulfilled with life, one has to accept and live through not just the easy days but also the hard sad days. Being tension free doesn't always mean being happy, as many of us would imagine!  Sometimes being devoid of something, even when that is not one of the pleasantries of life, makes us crave for fulfillment. ..... but sadly, we don't accept this unless we've painfully lived through it! 

The Facebook Phase!!!

Just the other day I caught myself red handed .... thinking in terms of facebook status messages!

Although it was funny at start, later I was wondering what's wrong with me. Am I obsessed with the social networking funda ...or is it just a minor symptom to ring the bell and stop me from getting there.?!
Whatever it is, I'm sure that lately my fb addiction has increased a tiny winy bit....and now i recognize ...its changing the way i think !!!

So what's it that has made face book so famous and what's that one string its originators struck right in the entire human population's minds.

** This social sharing concept has affected us so much these days that the first thought on every photo we click, is whether it'll look good on  face book and how many of our social circles would like/comment on it. Every dress, styles, jobs, and even the Person is evaluated based on the number of likes\comments we receive for it!

** The don't tell mama trick no longer works...cos most probably, even before you reach home from the so called study tour,  your mom would have noticed her kid tagged in one of the cool party pics, by one of the buddies!

So that's how our life has become.. an open book. As long as you don't indulge too much in the privacy settings of your account, you and your life is accessible to anyone anywhere anytime!!!

** On one hand this may prove good, the feeling that anything and everything we do is gonna be out there for everyone to see, makes us more cautious and responsible about ourselves!

** Often there are problems we are involved in, for which we struggle to find solutions! Sometimes we turn the world upside down in search of a solution when it would be actually hiding behind our door!!!
Its a very common scenario and it happens mostly because we are in too much of a hurry or anxiety to stop and think about the actual issue. Calming down and thinking about the problem would give us a better perspective and new ways of solving ti effectively.....Summarizing the moment in few words, could actually be a help in this regard! :)

so there does seem to be an upside to face booking too rite? .... but then there is a downside too .....

** It's true that  "sharing it with someone makes the moment all the more special". But then there is a bold dark line between the shareable and unshareable things of life too! Remember ... no matter what happens with your life, whether good or ugly...  there are always people out there who could make a joke out of it... may not always prove to be a good picture for you and your folks!..so beware and think before you post!

Take care..... 

The Desire to Inspire ….

What do I write about? This has been the question on my mind for several days now. And even now when the deadlines are at hands reach, I have no idea what to scribble about!

There have been so many topics in my mind but none has managed to hold my concentration for long. I wonder why I’m out of topic at this very hour when the need for it is high.

Many times in life we are in similar situations when we desire to perform, but we are in lack of inspiration! Inspiration is required not only for a work of art, but in all walks of life, whether it be to do chores at home, or to survive through the heavy traffic everyday, to get to office. Without inspiration life doesn't move on!

As a mother, father, brother, friend, or whatever roles u play in your lives.. how do U add inspiration to your loved one’s life?

Inspiration is sometimes such a heavy word that we tend to look too far for it, when in reality we could have found it not farther than our door steps! A simple smile, a small word, a gesture of care and concern, would change our worst days to the most beautiful ones. Remember the last time you screwed up your presentation and u were feeling at the edge of the world? On completion when u wanted to hurry and hide, your big boss had congratulated you on the best effort made! …. Didn’t that change your worst nightmare to a beautiful dream achieved?

The world we live in is spinning at high speed, we are all in a hurry, to achieve, to compete, to survive.  We say we don’t have time, for fun, for hobbies, for family, for kids, for ourselves…..for all that really matters in life! We spend our lives, chasing the materialistic world, with the aim of framing a better future for our kids, while our kids grow up without knowing their parents or their love! And later we complain about them not treating their parents right! how contradictory is that!

It may not be about expensive gifts , but about simple gestures which would make someone’s day!

So the next time you feel good about someone or something… don’t hesitate... go on ..tell them …. be the reason of their smileJ it doesn’t cost you a thing and still will return to you in blessingsJ … be an inspiration !!! 

When responsibility comes knocking......

It's a common scenario,(i guess especially in India) where parents work hard for their kids, to provide them with the best of everything. We see to it that our kids get an environment of total comfort, so that they can concentrate on their studies and work towards achieving a bright future.
In today's all hi-tech world, there are so many channels offering us advice on the best ways of Parenting. From diet charts to academic know-hows, all r there in the wide web.
So in this wide world web of parenting do's and dont's i thought i will add one of my thoughts too...... so here goes.....
One thing that we almost always miss to teach our kids is how to handle responsibilities.We are too busy in providing and creating a safe platform for their lives, that we forget to show them how to do some thing on their own. It can be anything, from simple things like tying a shoelace, to a bit more complex things like shopping wisely on their own.
It might sound silly at first, and we may end up thinking that kids will learn all that as they grow up... Agreed!  Afterall most of the things that we know and do in our daily lives today have been self-taught. We all learn from the situations we are put into... but depriving our kids the chance to be responsible is something which will show its effects later in their lives. One fine day when he/she is asked to take up responsibilities, it may not be easy for them.
So let's teach our kids to be responsible for their actions. Give them small chores, let them be held responsible for them.When they go wrong, don't shut them out, noone can be perfect in the first trial. Teach them how its done and correct their mistakes. This will not only make them feel responsible, but they will also be happy that they are helping you out!
... one day later in their lives they are gonna be thankful to you for these small lessons! :)
Your valuable comments are welcome...:)

.... and then we Grew Up!

  "Give me SomE SuNShiNe

GiVe me SoMe rAin

GivE me AnotHer chAnce to gRow up onCe agAiN"

...... Lines from a box office hit!....


... other than making its way into my "favs" list, these lines also became successful in making me wish ....


.... wish for another chance to grow up...
.... another chance to be that innocent life with no worries to scare away my sleep....
.... another chance to keep smiling and not be mistook as having 'wrong intentions'
.... another chance to dance in the rain and not be considered Crazy!
.... another chance to laugh and cry whenever i feel like, and not to 'control emotions'


...now does that sound as if there are more privileges wen being a kid, than a grownup! If you had a chance to grow up again... what would u wanna do friends? 

Slow Down.....:)

Last sunday i heard the following story ....

A scientist was performing an experiment on the verbal reactions of fleas. He had trained a flea to jump on command. The scientist would command the flea, "Jump flea!" and the flea would jump. Then the scientist would proceed to pull off one of the fleas legs with a pair of tweezers and write a comment in his notebook. The scientist did this many times until the flea had only 1 leg left. The scientist commanded, "Jump flea!" and the flea made its best effort to jump, which the scientist recorded in his notebook.
After he pulled off its last leg, the scientist again commanded the flea to jump, and after repeating the command many times without the flea responding he jotted down in his notebook, "After the flea loses all of its legs it becomes completely deaf."

.......:) ..... thinking about it, how many of us have been like this scientist so many times in our lives?!!!

When faced with challenging situations,how many times have we reacted impulsively, made conclusions without giving it a second thought! ... .how many have we hurt due to this impulsive behaviour. How many times have we got hurt !!!

Many times at a later point it would have all looked pointless. but it would be too late to do anything to reverse the damage caused..... words being sharper than swords...makes it an unforgettable act, which does not deserve forgiveness! How many people have we lost in this way?

So friends.. before its too late... lets slow down a bit ..... before making conclusions... before letting out those words of anger... before making life hell ..

Take Care! ...

Others.... ????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes i wish that i wouldn't care so much
..... for what Others would think
..... for what Others wud say about something i did
..... for what Others would see wrong in something i feel is completly harmless! 
Sometimes i wish i would do what I wanna do and be happy ..
 .... and not do whts expected frm me.. by Others and make my heart wear a fake smile!!
Sometimes ..... i wish .. Others wouldn't be so much more important to me ..than me!

What keeps us young.......?

6 Jul 2011

Amidst the busy schedules of family and work, amidst the worries of getting up early, cooking, school timings, work timings, work schedules and dinner plans! rarely do we get time for 'ourselves'.
and because of this same reason, the concept of staying young or loyal to ourselves has become a real big marketing strategy all over the world. "age defying", "stay young", "weight loss" are all words in our day to day life which targets the same thought…..  of making us think about erasing the lines of old age.
But friends, what is it that actually keeps us young? Is it the wonder formulas available in colorful packages? or is it the millions of spas and gyms asking us to spend just a few millions to get back that "glow"?
What keeps us young... are our Friends.....
.....as we grow, we take up more responsibilities, each of which comes with their own built-in set of worries and heartaches..... amidst all of that when we have a friend who looks at our tired face and says "how do u manage to look so beautiful everyday" it indeed gives us a boost.
When we have friends who call us up in the middle of their busiest days to sing a happy birthday over the phone......
When we have someone to squeal on seeing us , no matter if that is in the centre of a shopping mall filled with strangers....
When we have someone to go for a lazy afternoon of window shopping with.....
When we can feel the thrill in someone's voice and see him\her jumping with joy when we break the 'good news' ......
......these are the times when life matters the most .. and these are the moments which remind us of the child in us , moments which keep us young ...forever!