In the name of a withered flower that forgot to bloom!

1 Sep 2014 

Recently my friends circle was deeply saddened and probably troubled for all their days to come, by the news of the sad demise of our friend. It was a tragic story, details of which i do not wanna reveal.

The cause of this incident was what disturbed each one of us and left us feeling completely helpless. The realization that something could have done to prevent this tragedy, would eat each one of us for our entire lives.

She was well educated ,a quality, people say is enough to make a lady strong enough for the world outside. In our country when we strive to make the literacy rate higher and continue to stress the importance of girls' education, one thing we always conveniently ignore is the emotional quotient.
We are all educated people. But education doesn't make us emotionally brave. We are bound by invisible chains of culture, family and society. We know the rights from the wrong... But even when we are wronged we hesitate to react.. In the name of our parents happiness... In the name of goodwill of the family... and what not!

You say you are gonna silently suffer in the name of your kids, have you ever thought what message that gives to your baby who's learning from you? Would you want her to keep quiet and hide it all from you when she gets into a problem? 

You say you are not gonna hurt your parents who so lovingly provided everything you have now.  So you stick on that smiling face and hide everything from them,And what do u achieve at the end of the day ?
They are happy thinking that you are happy... but only until the day comes when the world shatters in front of them and reveals the dreaded truth which would have already engulfed us in it, with no point of return. What do you gift your loved ones then? unending sorrow, which could have been avoided only if you had said a word at the right time, before it was too late !

Every now and then when something sad happens in our world, we talk about it, provide solutions that could have been adopted to avoid it, and then ? ... we just move on ! Memory fades, but the hurt of losing someone dear would never fade. And that is why i didn't want to allow our friend's loss to go in vain!

She might be gone, but her smiling face would never leave our souls. When the darkness of this tragedy fills our heart, her smile would remain like a light at the end of the tunnel. A light that will remind us day in and day out of what she went through. Lets not allow her light to fade.. Lets not allow this to repeat anymore.....

We always seem to have an inbuilt course of guilt which rises its head up every now and them and restrict us from having what we rightfully deserve.

Remember friends, you are not alone . It just takes a small word,and you would know there r many around you who are facing the same distress as you. So forget the shame and speak out, pour out your sorrow. Don't keep it within you and let it swallow you into its dark depths.

In the name of our friend..... !! Let's not let her life go in vain!

In the Name of a Photograph....

Light from the streets played hide and seek with the curtains as she lay resting her head on the soft pillows. It had been a long day and all that she wanted was to get to bed and drift off to sleep, hoping that when she woke up the next day all would be back to normal and this day would’ve been just a dream!

But as she closed her eyes trying to shut off the waves of thoughts flowing through her over strained mind, once again flashes of the day’s events appeared before her… it had been the day she had dreaded for quite a while, a day she prayed would never come, the day she will never forget in her life!

The voice had asked.... "where are you?" She couldn’t recognize who it was on the other end of the phone. Maybe because her mind was elsewhere and she was busy trying to hide the tears rolling down her face as she walked swiftly towards the gate, or maybe because the other person's voice was distorted as he tried to control the urge to cry out loud!

She asked.. "who is this?", when he said his name, inspite of the tears, a smile spread across her face. He went on “we didnt take a photo together....” her instant reaction was to deny that fact, how can she miss such a thing. Then she remembered, how busy both of them had been, he had to finish all formalities, and she was busy scheduling get togethers with their different groups of friends and getting gifts for him. One moment she didnt know what to say, and heard him say that he is coming to the gate. "stay there!" he had said. But she had to go back, she knew she can't leave like that, with tears and sadness. She turned around and found her way through the crowd rushing towards her ...and managed to tell him "i am coming".....

She will never forget that moment, a simple phone call and simple sentence had made her day. When everyone around them were busy making speeches of how they gonna miss him , this simple sentence had said it all between them!

It hadn’t been smooth and she knew it was all her fault! Her unending urge to make new friends had left him sad and alone. But he held it back until one moment, when it all just had to burst out! She was thankful that he said it atleast then, else she would have never realized the worth of the time she was wasting without being with him!

Something simple, yet more special than anything else!! Unexplainable and undefined their friendship would live on forever… no matter how far life is gonna take them. Even after years it’s gonna bring a smiling tear to their hearts… the moment that held it all, in the name of a photograph!!!!

Till the page turns.... 

Lead kindly light!.....

As more and more incidents keep happening, its no longer enough to worry about it and blame the authorities for being brutally blind to all this. Let alone the fact that everyone other than the authorities who have power seems to see what the obvious punishment shuld be declared as!
Reading newspapers have become a disturbing routine of everyday life now. But when we pray for the victims and for our dear one's safety, dont you think there is pondering required on the real factor that's causing people to turn cannibalistic?
When did we humans start being so overwhelmed by our desires! Sudden exposure to things which the mind can't differentiate as right or wrong often leads us into obsessing . Human nature gas always between to desire for what's not at hand . So For example, people who haven't had much chances to use internet, when they get an opportunity tends to overdo it.
It is the same with every thing in our life.
Learning to control our desires is a critical factor for preventing future disasters. Starting with small sins it can lead to barbaric actions just to satisfy one's thirst. As long as it hasn't quenched, it would keep us under its mesmerizing claws,  promising heaven! Its not just government or laws that has to be reviewed, its every one of us. Society as a whole should take responsibility for the future of our sons and daughters. what we show them is what they'll become!
Starting from relationships at home , movies, internet, school and friends.... Exposure is at its max.  We can't say no to it, we can't.bring them up inside the four walls .... The only way to help is by lighting the candle of awareness. Talk to them on what's right and what's not, dont be shy like our senior generations have been. Let freedom of speech lead to freedom of movement!

...to the world of Rapists!!!!!

It was a cold morning and i slipped out of bed careful not to wake up my two year old sleeping peacefully beside me...

I hurried to the kitchen to start with my chores for the morning. one of it being retrieving the milk packet from my front door, i opened the door and picked up the packet and the newspaper.
I conducted the usual ritual of reading the headlines and was about to flop the paper on the table, but before i could walk off something caught my eye. Dumbstruck, shocked, numb, shivers.... i don't know exactly how to explain that moment of pain.

"Capital shamed: Girl gang-raped on bus in South Delhi", it read. Details of it all of you would have read. It was too much to believe. 

As i managed to handover the paper to my husband and walk away, my mind was flooded with the many such articles I've read in the past. brutal cases like these have been in the papers on and off. Fathers, Uncles, Caretakers, turning into monsters at schools ,home etc, The very people and places we considered secure is now where we should be extra cautious !!! 

Accidents happen.. it's part of life... but what about things like these? What reason or justification do they have for committing such a brutal act, to make a person devoid of the capability to live a life, dignity aside, atleast with the minimum confidence that someone will not plunge over them in the next second. To say that its animal behavior would be to insult the animal kingdom itself, atleast they Kill and dont make their victims's life  a rotting hell! 

When i grew up we were told to be careful about strangers. Don't talk to strangers my mum used to utter, outgoing was not the kind of thing one was supposed to do when in a vulnerable situation and it was understood well. But now? what should i tell my son\daughter? 

Should i isolate them into a cube and let them live their lives in a dungeon where no one can reach them?

Whom should i warn them about? strangers? or their own family members? 

Schools are now creating awareness about good touch and bad touch, but what do we teach them about the jungle out there? How can one live with the fear that any moment, any one can turn into a monster and pounce upon you!!! 

Right and Wrong no longer comes in Black and White! We need to revisit our morality. We need to find our moral self to be able to stop ourselves from viewing others as probable Victims. Wake up people.... wake up the human in you.... 

HeaRt Vs MiNd

Arranged Vs Love? .... its Complicated!

6 Aug 2012 

SALE SALE SALE ... everywhere a SALE... that's how it is now when u tread outside nowadays. Every other store has an ON SALE board hung bright and bold in front of their entrances,and knowingly or unknowingly we get pulled in.
So last weekend i was on this shopping spree, desperate to checkout the sale at my favorite store, i made time from my usual schedules to head out and indulge. Since the day i had planned for this, my mind had been on this all alert mode, where i pick up colors and patterns from everything i see, from tv serials to magazine pages, to distant memories of beautiful dresses worn in my favorite movies. Every now and then, in between the routines my mind would return with a new color and pattern to put in my bookmarks list, so that i can refer to them when at the store.

All set for the endeavor i headed out to the store. The innumerable colors that the store held out to me were more than manageable. Never had i felt so overwhelmed with the need to pick my favorites! So there i was surrounded by all sort of colors and patterns one could imagine, and yet even after an hour i couldn't set eyes on even one garment that would satisfy my style definitions!
True to the moment, i was greatly disappointed at this unexpected turn of things. Even with all that it could offer me.. it was just not enough!

Life sometimes is like this... the moment would ask for it, the nature would strive to offer it , but all of it wouldn't be enough to make it happen! It wouldn't matter whether u actually prepared/planned for the moment or it happened spontaneously, the only thing that matters is for you to feel right. 

Strength of a relationship is based upon the quality and not upon the length of time u knew each other. Sometimes even spending a lifetime with someone wouldn't be enough to understand them, and some other times the sincerity and loyalty of the other person would strike you in just few seconds spent together !

Like they say 'everything has got its place and time'... even love and marriage has its predestined place and time... sometimes it just feels right and u just need to trust your instincts. Love ya arranged .. its the commitment towards it that matters... nothing more..nothing less!

Forgive and ForgeT? or Revenge and Regret?

There are basically two kinds I've come across..

The ones who forgive and forget and the other who don't!

While the former glazes through life leaving breakups and regrets behind , with the hope of a better tomorrow, the latter holds on to the past and evaluates everything the future holds in terms if the past memories. Even the smallest mistake you do with a person who never forgets will be written in big bold letters in the book of your relationship and will be referred back and forth every valid and invalid times.

Hence evidently forgive and forget is the way to be if you want to enjoy life without the dark shadows of the past.

But in todays wild world, there are some others who take advantage of this Forgive and forget trait. Just because we move on with life more easily, people tend to think that they can get away with anything ,cos we'll forgive them and get along as if nothing happened. So then it becomes important that forgive and forget be always accompanied by assertiveness, so that you don't allow anyone to make you feel inferior or victimized.

So then how should it be ? ...  i guess even the universal rules need to rewritten to face today's unforgiving world.

Forgive and become a door mat? or take revenge and be called a fighter?? .... what to be and what not to stays a mystery!!!!!